Long Distance love affair

College students spend months apart while their relationships last across miles

By: Holly Mohr / Staff reporter

Posted: 4/28/05

Romeo and Juliet went to eternity for each other, so how far will Eastern students go for their star-crossed lovers?

Mindy Brown, a freshman journalism major, will be riding the long distance relationship roller coaster this summer with her boyfriend Matt Born, a University of Illinois computer science and Spanish major.

Brown said the two are high school sweethearts who have been together for two-and-a-half years. She said this will be their third summer being in a long distance relationship.

"We're comfortable being apart," Brown said. "We have our own lives."

Some long distance relationships don't last the first try, let alone the third.

"We've already gone through this roller coaster before," Born said. "I'm not worried."

He said one reason their relationship will work over the summer is because he likes to drive long distances.

Born will be spending the summer in St. Charles, Champaign and Canada while Brown will remain in Charleston.

Brown said they will try to see each other on as many weekends possible. She said they have events planned such as sailing and camping together.

"It'll work because we started planning early," she said.

Planning ahead will also help Sarah Rasmussen, a sophomore public relations major, with her long distance relationship.

She will be staying in Charleston over the summer while her boyfriend, Pete Wangerski, a junior exercise science major, will be living in Riverside.

Rasmussen said they met last year and became close after talking on the phone all summer. They have been dating for eight months.

"I'm going to miss him a lot over the summer," she said. "I'll be bored out of my mind without him."

Rasmussen said it will be hard not seeing her boyfriend since she's seen him all this year but they'll make it work because "they are in love."

Love might be the only thing that can keep a long distance relationship going strong.

Courtney Lowe, a communication disorders and sciences major, said her long distance relationship did not work.

"Jealousy plays a big part," she said. "People fight regardless of where they are."

Lowe said she does not recommend long distance relationships unless you're in love.

"Try to stay friends and see what comes later when you're together and not apart," Lowe said.

Other factors play into having a healthy long distance relationship.

Brown said having a flexible social life has helped in the past and will help this summer.

"We don't always need to be together," Brown said. "We have friends in common and apart."

Brown said the best advice for students involved in a long distance relationship is "don't hide anything." Her boyfriend gave the same type of advice.

"Be upfront," said Born. "It helps a lot."

Born said he and Brown usually see each other on the weekends during school, so it won't be that different in the summer.

"It'll be hard but why shouldn't it work?" he said. "We love each other."

Psychologists may have a different opinion on long distance relationships.

Joseph Williams, associate professor of psychology, said he believes that contact is the way to fulfill a healthy relationship.

"Once students move to two different locations, they may become two different people," he said. "People 18-24 are still maturing and becoming the person they'll be."

Williams said the danger of the long distance relationship is that the couple will grow apart and "break up because of less contact."

Some couples are willing to take that risk.

Wangerski said he's going to make it work because he loves Rasmussen and she loves him.

"We're not going to break up just because it's summer," he said.

Even though some students have made long distance relationships work in the past, some people are still skeptical about them.

"You can't have a meaningful relationship if you don't see each other," Williams said. "Attitudes change."

He said long distance relationships likely will not succeed, but when they do it's great.