Staff rates unscary movies

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Posted: 10/31/03

"Dead Alive" circa 1993

By Dan Valenziano

Dead Alive is Peter Jackson at his second-finest. I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan so I can't put this movie above those but it comes really close. I mean, where else are you gonna see a guy cut up hundreds of zombies with a lawn mower he straps to his shoulder. This movie kicks ass for the Lord - if you don't know what I mean, just watch it and you'll understand. I'm not sure about the budget this movie had, but it looks like P.J. did a lot with a little. Rule of thumb for horror-type movies: if you can't make it convincing, make it funny. This movie, although gory as can possibly be, lands on the dark comedy side of the spectrum as opposed to horror. I think they used enough stage blood in this movie to fill the English Channel.

"Nightmare Before Christmas", 1993

By Holly Henschen

Like that eerie feeling that creeps up your spine this time of year, this twisted tale of multi-seasonal mayhem is Christmas painted black. Pumpkin King Jack Skellington, who has conquered every shock tactic in Halloweentown, hijacks the happy holiday and delivers a gothic version to the unwitting world. A Disney and Tim Burton collaboration, the film would not be completewithout the obligatory female love interest.

Sally, a mad scientist's creation, is reminiscent of the girl described in the beginning of Marilyn Manson's "Tourniquet." This movie is like a funeral on Christmas Day, with a sing-a-long musical score.

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" 1966

By Jessica Youngs

Everyone's favorite comic strip characters turned movie stars are back in "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" which is most likely the least scary Halloween movie of all time. In the Peanuts tradition, this short film is full of creator Charles Schultz's satiric themes of failure and faith. Charlie Brown has been invited to a Halloween party much to his excitement and Lucy's dismay. Snoopy goes as a WWI Flying Ace. And Linus waits with love-struck Sally all night in his "sincere" pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to find him and shower him with toys. Following the tradition, Charlie Brown gets rocks instead of candy, Snoopy is shot down behind enemy lines and Linus faints before he sees the Great Pumpkin.